Tammy Miller
April 21, 2021

Here I go again.

I am rewriting this blog post because I accidentally deleted most of what I wrote last night – I was literally seconds away from posting it. Not sure what happened, but I’m guessing I highlighted a good portion of it on accident and boom – it was all gone and my heart sunk for a hot second. To be honest, I sulked for an hour or so, but that’s okay because we gotta allow ourselves to feel all the emotions, not just the “feel good” ones, right?!!!

So here I am and I’m offering myself a new thought that this post will be even better than the one I wrote last night that just disappeared into the dark abyss of nowhere. Hahaha.

I try to be vulnerable and transparent in my posts, however, this post is really raw for me and I hope that you know that by sharing this it is my hope that it will help someone that reads it. I feel like the biggest thing that God has tutored me on over the last 7 or 8 years is to recognize the power of my thoughts. I didn’t recognize how the negative thoughts that I thought about myself were affecting my life until I turned to God with questions and asked for Him to guide me. I read scriptures, church talks, attended seminars and listened to podcasts on the power of thought.

Today’s post I’m specifically focusing on how the thoughts that we think can affect our body weight and shape. In my journey to learn the power of thought and to improve some health challenges I was facing, a friend gave me a book by Geneen Roth titled “Women, Food and God.” I can’t tell you how enlightening the book was and what a profound effect it had on me. It really spoke to me. One of the most profound things that she shared in the book is this:

“For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe we will end up being kind. If we shame ourselves, we believe we end up loving ourselves. It has never been true, not for one moment, that shame leads to love. Only love leads to love.”

Let that just soak in for a minute…

I really felt like God was telling me that in order to really change my body I had to start with getting my thoughts in better shape. Just to give you a little history, I have struggled with body image issues, (no matter how tiny I was), since I was 13 years old. A flippant comment made by a family member comparing my body to someone else that had completely different genetics sent me into a negative spiral with my body. I struggled with disordered eating for far too long.

I shamed myself.
There were times that I hated my body. This makes me sad as I type this. I’m sorry, body!

I started to learn that I couldn’t hate myself to any result that I wanted to achieve. It started with love. It meant releasing any shame or hate that I had and replacing it with love, compassion and kindness – all the things that I think are important in a relationship with any other person, but being reminded that that started with me.

I have actively worked on melting away the hate, the shame, the embarrassment around the weight that I have gained over the last 4.5 years since I lost my brother and then my Dad just 10 weeks later. I realized that my actions sometimes were a result of me not wanting to feel the deep pain of their deaths. Ice cream, chocolate and other junk food was no solution to the deep pain in my heart, it actually just made me feel gross and further fueled the shame and blame cycle.

You can’t change your body until you let go of shame – you can’t beat it into submission. Meet the love of your body with a different energy than you have been,

There were reminders that I needed to love myself where I was at, where I am at currently, and not until I get the result that I want. It’s been a practice in unconditional love. I want you to visualize yourself as one of your own children – now, think about all the negative and awful things you say about your body and other things. Would you say those things to your child? I hope not! You shouldn’t be saying those things about yourself either.

I am whole just as I am – no matter what. I am worthy, no matter what, and so are you!

Another thing that I remember reading in one of Geneen Roth’s books is that our body matches the shape of our beliefs. Whoa! Read that back again! I started to realize that no matter how clean I was eating, how much sleep I was getting, how much I was exercising, how much water I was drinking or supplements I was taking and all the other healthy things I was doing, if I didn’t CLEAN UP MY THINKING, things weren’t going to change. I had to change that inner dialogue no matter how hard of mountain I felt like it was to climb.

I learned to show myself some grace and patience. I also learned that I, you, me and any other person can love and accept yourself and still want to change. What are the reasons you want to change? Do they line up with your values? If one of your values is to take good care of this one beautiful body God blessed you with, then YES!

What to do, you ask?

Shift the inner dialogue…
Disrupt the old thinking patterns…
Identify those negative thoughts…
Switch out those old tapes…
Ask Heaven to help…
Write down affirmations…
And remember…
What we water grows…
What we focus on expands…
Change your focus, change your results.
Generate new energy – what feeds YOUR spirit?
Do things from a space of love, not punishment.

Try on these thoughts:
“I nurture and nourish my body.”
“I release all shame that I feel over how my body looks.”

I really felt like God was telling me that distorted thinking leads to distorted behaviors. He was reminding me WHO I was and that most important I am a daughter of God. I am not a problem to solve. I am inherently whole no matter what. I came with my worth intact and the number on the scale or the size of clothing doesn’t determine my worth or your worth. We are all worthy to show ourselves love, compassion, kindness, respect, dignity and love.

One of my favorite authors, Brene Brown, says:
“Talk to yourself like someone you love.”

From a podcast series I listened to, they ended with the question: can you love your body and still want to change it? The consensus was yes, you can. I wholeheartedly agree but we need to remember to love ourselves all along the way unconditionally.

So, with that, I’ll leave you with the reminder that you and your thoughts are POWERFUL. Our thoughts on repeat create neural pathways – visualize this like a highway in your brain. New thoughts are your exit. Create a new highway with thoughts that are loving and kind, and if you are on a path to improved health and a desire to release some weight, I’ll leave you with some questions to answer.

Journal out WHY you want to change your body because you can love it and still want to change it. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
How is my weight holding me back physically, emotionally, spiritually and energetically?
Am I giving myself grace?
Can I respect and love my body and still want to change it?
Why do I want to change my body?

Make sure to meet your body with so much love, compassion, patience and grace. Don’t ever beat your body into submission with shame because your body will not respond kindly to it.

Shift the inner dialogue.
Disrupt the old patterns.
Identify those negative thoughts.
Switch out those old tapes in your head for something better.
Ask Heaven for help.
Write down affirmations.
What we focus on expands.
Change your focus, change your results.
What we water, GROWS.

You are NOT a problem to solve.
are worthy not because of what you do but simply because you exist.
Show yourself respect, love and dignity.

A few thoughts to put on repeat:
“I nurture and nourish my body.”
“I love my body.”
“I release any shame I feel about my body.”

“Talk to yourself like someone you love.”

Much love,