Tammy Miller
June 2, 2021

Being raised as a Christian I was taught that I was a child of God. I often sing a primary song called “I am a child of God.“ some of the lyrics to that song say “lead me, guide me walk beside me, help me find the way, teach me all that I must do to live with him someday.”

Even knowing that we are children of God, it is easy for us to lose our identity, in so many different ways; whether it’s raising children because our identity gets lost in being a parent to our children and we kind of forget about who we are and what our purpose is outside of that role, or it could be we play the stupid comparison game and we compare ourselves to people within our circle of influence or on social media, and so many other things….

From the time that my firstborn child came to this earth until the last one graduated from high school it covered the span of 27 years. I remember having some whisperings of what I wanted my life to look like after my children were all out of the house. I didn’t know exactly what that was going to look like, because hey, no crystal ball here. Lol. Bu lo and behold, the Lord works in mysterious ways, I had the opportunity to build and grow a home based business starting when my four children were 15, 13, 11, and 6 years old, which has been very successful for my husband and I. It wasn’t something that I was looking for but there were just so many things that worked out and the stars just aligned and it was a great opportunity for me to find some purpose outside of the role of being a mother. This isn’t to say that I pushed motherhood aside. Motherhood was still a one of the most important things to me. Building this business was something that was very purposeful to because it was something that was born out of some difficult challenges that we had had with a particular child that had health issues. I am grateful for the things that I have learned about myself and who I am and who God created me to be as a result of getting out of my “comfort zone.”

I think it’s really important for us to establish who we are and who God created us to be. So, we might know that we are a child of God and that we came here for a purpose and we might know and be living part of that purpose, however, we might be entering a new chapter of our lives and we might be questioning “what now?” Are you finding yourself at this point in your life? Or, is this something you are dreading with impending doom?

In 2 Corinthians 10:12 it addresses comparison: “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” I recently read a book called “Without Rival” by Lisa Bevere – excellent book! This book Is filled with tons of wisdom, there was one thing that I wanted to share and she said “we’ve measured and compared. There are those who arrogantly compare themselves with others, and then there are those who foolishly allow the comparison to diminish what God wants to do in their lives. Pride imbalance is one end of the spectrum, while insecurity cripples the other. Both extremes are dangerous.“ Chew on that for a minute…

Comparison is not of God. We need to be acquainted with the agenda and tactics of satan. What are you comparing? House, looks, job, clothes, travel, etc. Acknowledge where these thoughts are coming from. Comparison comes from satan. Comparison is a waste of time. God needs you to be WHO you ARE! Don’t measure yourself to anyone else.

Cognitive dissonance abounds one on one hand we declare that we are a daughter of God and on the other hand we dare compare ourselves to other people. We disconnect from our true identity when we get caught in the comparison trap. Theodore Roosevelt wrapped up comparison and a really small and profound quote, he said “Comparison is the thief of joy.“

Lisa Bevere in her book Without Rival” said:
“When we look to others for our affirmation, we will always feel as though we are on the outside looking in. To be quite honest, there is no single person who can completely filled a void of affirmation in your life. Sorry — even if your husband were perfect, it is not going to happen. There is no lifetime achievement, list, or award that can ever write with your assurance the words God alone can inscribe on your heart: ‘ loved, beautiful, valued, intimately known…mine.’”

Isn’t that just beautiful?! Breathe that in, let those words wash over you because they are true and God loves you with everything and He created you to accomplish amazing things in this world. Sit and talk with Him, listen to what He speaks to your heart, your mind, your soul…

Comparison has a strong pool and it will always move us from our authentic self. Lisa said: “ comparison will attempt to puff you up at through the insidious vehicle of pride, or it will push you down through the tyranny of insecurity. Either way it will not be long until you feel as though you are off kilter and on the outside looking in.“

In the end, as we are searching for who we are and what our purpose is as we continue through this life, we need to remember not to allow ourselves to be defined by people because we lose our connection with God. It becomes muddied and distorted when we allow what other people Think or say about us to define who we are. We need to remember who God declared each of us to be. Just remember, YOU are a child of God!


P.S. Reach out to me if you’d like help working through finding your identity and purpose in your life. I am a certified life coach and I work with women to identify their purpose.