Tammy Miller
January 29, 2020

My friend,

Take off that backpack. It’s heavy. It’s weighing you down. You don’t need to be carrying it around any longer. It is serving absolutely no purpose. You might not even be aware of the heaviness that you are carrying around because it’s been with you for so long and has somehow become a part of you. Some of it is your stuff and some of it might be the weight of others that you chose to carry around like it was your responsibility to do that.

Every one of us have past and current challenges. Some get so bogged down by their past and what they have been through that they carry it around with them for the rest of their life. You can see the effects that it has on them physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. We can ruminate all day long over the things that have happened to us or the mistakes that we have made but that isn’t going to change anything – it only compounds and prolongs the suffering.

As we reflect back on our past it is cathartic to process through the emotions. I think acknowledging that is important to move forward. If this means going to therapy if needed, then do it. Oftentimes finding the right life coach can be very helpful too. I have had several amazing coaches over the years and I have had one amazing therapist that has helped me tremendously as well. But sometimes we can so stuck in the past that we have a hard time moving forward. Questions like “why me?” is not a useful question – I think that keeps people stuck in victim mentality and it’s hard to move forward and be productive when we think that way.

If you made mistakes, which we all do, show yourself some compassion show yourself some love, show yourself some grace and forgive yourself. And if someone hurt or betrayed you in any way, forgive them because that is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Holding onto grudges and not forgiving people only hurts you, not them. When we hold onto that crap we are unable to move forward. It’s you that ends up carrying around heavy rocks in your backpack when you can’t let go of your anger (beneath that is pain, frustration and hurt). When you let it go and forgive, the weight of that leaves you and creates space for something beautiful.

You can change your past by thinking about it differently. This is a powerful exercise in looking at your past through a different lens. How do you do that, you ask? You simply change the thoughts about it. For example, instead of having thoughts like “I’m so angry I had to go through ______________ (fill in the blank),” change it to “I am grateful for the person that I have become as a result of going through _____________.” See how that feels different? Powerful!

If you are currently going through something challenging – know it’s not your circumstances that are making you sad, mad, miserable, angry or whatever emotion you are feeling – it’s your thoughts about it. And I’m not saying you’re not justified in what you are thinking. It’s just a good awareness to have to know that it’s not the external things that have power over us, it’s the internal – those sentences that run in our head. Our thoughts affect the way that we feel and the way that we feel affects our actions and thus generates the results that we get.

It’s empowering to know that we get to choose how we feel by choosing our thoughts. It’s totally disempowering to give our power over to someone else. Take your power back and while you’re at it….take off that backpack.


I’m a life coach that loves to help women find their purpose, improve their relationships, increase their self-confidence and step into living their best, most authentic life. Sign up for a free mini consultation with me to see if I would be a good fit for you and what you are looking for in terms of your goals. 🙂