Tammy Miller
February 10, 2020

What part in your journey did you adopt the belief that you have to show up perfectly? Did someone tell you that your best wasn’t good enough, and so you adopted that as a truth and it morphed into your daily life? Or, did you compare yourself to someone else and you thought your best wasn’t good enough? Maybe it was something else. I’d love for you to share. For me, it was often pointed out that my best wasn’t good enough.

So here I am, a recovering perfectionist. Not gonna lie, it’s still something that can rear it’s ugly head from time to time, but I’m getting better as I strive to be intentional and accept that I’m trying to do my best – and that’s more than good enough. We could seriously drive ourselves mad trying to attain some impossible standard of perfect. I know for myself that trying to show up perfect comes at a cost. To my core it cost me something that was so important to me that I realized I had to break up with that destructive pattern.

What’s the cost? Here’s what I’ve observed for myself. The cost of perfectionism affects your confidence. It affects your progress. It affects your relationship with yourself and maybe even relationships with others. It can affect your physical and mental health. It shows up as negative self-talk and shame. It consumes your time because you spend so much time trying to show up that way. It showed up as an eating disorder. And, another big thing it cost me was my authenticity. To my core authenticity is so important to me. How can I show up authentically if I try to do everything perfect? I can’t!!! And, I’m certain there’s a long list of other things we could add. The truth is – perfectionism keeps us from progressing.

And….we are undermining our God-given potential.

I’m a woman of faith tells me that God gives each of us strengths AND weaknesses for a purpose. This journey is to learn and grow. We learn from our weaknesses and of course we should strive to be better, but we should not confuse that with being perfect. Strive for excellence NOT perfectionism. We have to ALLOW ourselves to make mistakes. I love what mistakes have taught me as I’ve shifted my perspective: MISTAKES are LESSONS. And the important thing is to always show ourselves some grace and self-compassion.

To wrap this up, we have to change our thinking. Find a thought about yourself that is kind and a thought that you can believe even just a little. For example, try this thought on: “I strive for excellence, not perfectionism.” Our thoughts create our feelings. If we have a thought like this, we are going to have positive emotions that drive us to make fruitful actions. Our actions give us the results. Change your thoughts and you will get the results you are looking for.


I’d love to offer you a free 30 minute consultation where we can go over what goals you want to accomplish. Life coaching has blessed my life so much that I decided to become a life coach myself. I coach women that are searching for their purpose in the throes of motherhood or entering a new phase of life, I help women increase their confidence by teaching them valuable tools to clean up their thinking and I also help women by teaching them the tools to improve the relationships in their lives. If this interests you, sign up here on my website for a free consultation. I look forward to it.


February 8, 2020

February 10, 2020